سكن الليل، و في السكون تختبي الأحلام
(جبران خليل جبران)
What’s the odd? You might ask. I spent day by day sewing, reading, cooking, playing with kids (yeah, I don’t have any of my own, but my friends are so kind to let me play with theirs occasionally). In the night I would dream. Specifically, dreams about physics. I don’t know when does it start, but at least 80% of my dreams were taking places in campus, lecture halls, classes, or library. Sometimes I attend lectures, some seminars, or just doing some calculation in the lab (Yes that lab, the one which you can see the Einstein picture in the wall opposite to the entry door). In the other time I presented my works, sometimes I discussed a few things or just strolling between the book aisles.
Today, I went to a strange place, looks like a very big lecture hall, and it’s interestingly elegant, somehow old but neat and clean, and…fresh. Crowded by students (I would say we’re on our teens so I bet the story happen in my high school years. But even so, it was not any close to my then high school. The place, the surrounding, the ambience are all different), it closely resemble the Hogwarts hall, perhaps, but brighter, much more bright. The hopeful air of youth, of fear of nothing, of worry less, of promising bright future, and the delicacy of knowledge filled up the space.
The chattering students, suddenly silenced as the professor came to the podium and started speaking. Then I watched, I listened. I decided not to go anywhere. I froze the time; the moment eternalised.
That just one of the amusing stories I saw every night. That might be the voice of my subconscious; my longing for an academic career. What kind of dreams are they? What are they portraying? Could it be a flashback or flash-forward, or the present, things that are now happening in my inner self?
Something never really goes after you walked away, because you’ve never intended to leave it. Those who don’t understand would comment you took the wrong major in college. They don’t understand complexity does occur. Things are not going linear every time. It has something to do with one or more wrong decisions, or simply a misfortune.